Evelyn Harper

Evelyn H. Ely 60, loving wife, mother, and friend went to be with our Lord on March22, 2008 after a courageous and inspirational 12 year battle with Breast Cancer.CELEBRATION OF LIFE: 10 a.m. Saturday at Walnut Ridge Baptist Church in Mansfield, Texas, 1201 State Highway 360. Burial following the service will take place at Emerald Hills Cemetery in Kennedale, Texas. Visitation will be Friday from 6 to 8 p.m. at Blessing Funeral Home in Mansfield, Texas.MEMORIALS: May be made to Walnut Ridge Baptist Church Music Ministry and/or Tarrant County Komen Race for the CureEvelyn, who was better known to her friends as Lyn, was born in Brooklyn, New York on June 30, 1947 to Maude Helena Harper and the late William B. Harper. She attended kindergarten through the 6th grade at PS119 in Flatlands, NY.In 1958 her family moved to Bethesda, Maryland where Lyn attended North Bethesda Junior High School. While attending school she sang in the school choir, as well as the junior choir at church. Her education continued at Walter Johnson Senior High School until her graduation in 1964.After high school Lyn attended the Shenandoah Conservatory of Music in Winchester, VA for one year, and then enrolled in Montgomery College earning an Associates of Arts in Sociology/Psychology. She then later attended the University of Maryland for a period of time. Although Lyn never bragged about it she held a variety of interesting jobs during her career. She was a guide for the National Capital Park Police and in 1969 was awarded a job in the West Wing of the White House working for Jon Huntsman, who was staff secretary and special counsel to President Richard M. Nixon.In 1968 Lyn married Leonard Smyth in Bethesda, Maryland at the Bethesda Baptist Church. Later in 1971, they relocated to Carrolton, Texas and later had two sons, William born in 1972 and Leonard born in 1974. After relocation, Lyn settled in the Wedgewood area of Fort Worth, Texas. In 1978 after the end of her marriage, Lyn found herself as a single parent struggling to provide for the boys. It was at this time that she entered the Human Resources field where she truly found her calling. She worked at Southland Royalty Oil Company and then later had additional human resources experience as an account manager for several different temporary help agencies. She also worked as a nurse recruiter for Texas Health Resources and Medical Center of Arlington, jobs she truly loved before health issues forced her to retire.February 12, 1982 she was married to Randy P. Ely in Fort Worth and shortly thereafter, the couple moved to Mansfield, Texas where they remained until Lyns passing. Lyn would have a 3rd son, Christopher, who was born in 1984.Lyn was probably best known for the courage and inspiration she provided to others during her 12 year battle with Breast Cancer. Refusing to allow the illness to define and overtake her she used it and her incredible strong faith to encourage others going through difficult times. She and her husband Randy often spoke before groups on how their faith had helped them to overcome adversity while dealing with Cancer. Lyn also cofounded the non-profit faith based Cancer Support organization, Coping With Hope. Through its web site copingwithhope.com Lyn used her illness in an up close and personal way so that her story was shared with countless others in an effort to help them better cope with Cancer. She was known as the constant encourager, choosing instead to focus on helping others rather than looking at her own situation. Lyns faith was what allowed her to rise above the countless obstacles Cancer often placed in her path. In spite of it all, Lyn loved to praise God even in the midst of this battle and most often did this by singing in the Walnut Ridge Baptist Church Celebration choir where she had been a long time member. She had long term relationships with Walnut Ridge Baptist Church in Mansfield and before that Travis Avenue Baptist Church in Fort Worth. Lyn was preceded in death by her father William B. Harper; and grandparents, William T. Bailey and Evelyn Maude Bailey.SURVIVORS: Husband of 26 years, Randy Ely of Mansfield; sons; William Smyth his wife Michelle, and their son, Conner of Rowlett, Leonard Smyth of Austin, and Christopher Ely of Mansfield; mother, Maude Helena Harper of Bethesda, MD; and brother, Paul Harper of Charlottesville, VA., Her dogs Charlie and Max, and a host of other loving relatives and friends.One Word to Describe LynIf there was one word you could use to describe Lyn it would be PASSIONATE! She was passionate about her love for Christ, passionate about her love for her husband, passionate about her kids and their family members, and passionate about her friends.How We MetRandy used to be very active in his little community church but had several significant events in his church which caused a major falling out. He had a pastor have an affair with a church member, a staff member embezzle money, and then Deacons wanting to write an editorial denouncing another church. This was when he was 18 and he became angry and left the church and did not set foot back in a church until he was 28 (10 years later). God did not forget him and kept working on him and eventually in 1980 he began to watch a local Fort Worth church on TV and the spirit began to work on him. Eventually he would go back to church at the age of 28. He felt very awkward and it was obvious this showed as he sat in the pew. He noticed a very beautiful young woman seated a few rows down from him but she never turned around. He thought how stunning she was but someone that attractive would never speak to someone like himself. After a few weeks and his awkwardness still showing, he sat in the pew one Sunday and a voice asked him if he minded company. Randy said if he knew then what he knows now he would have run for the hills because Lyn was already working on him with just that first hello. In her usual way, she could tell he was awkward so she sat trying to befriend him and tell him a little about the church. This put Randy at ease and he began to go to church regularly, although Lyn did not sit with him after he got over his uneasiness. Eventually Randy joined one of the Sunday school classes, and without knowing it in advance, found Lyn there. Again in his new environment he found himself in an awkward situation and once again Lyn knew it and came over trying to make him feel better. Lyn had this uncanny gift of being able to pick up on people and their emotions and she would try to encourage them and that is just what she did with Randy.One Sunday near the end of class Lyn walked up to Randy and said she was going to go on a picnic after church and would he like to go with her. She boldly said that she and her two children were going. Randys radar went up instantly because he was single and had never been around someone with children. For some strange reason, he instantly said yes and an agreed upon time was arranged for Randy to come over. Immediately after class Randy started having reservations and cold feet. Lyn would also tell you she never did things like this, didnt know why she asked him, and secretly hoped he would cancel. Randy wanted to cancel as well but couldnt because he didnt get Lyns phone number and didnt want to rudely stand her up. Reluctantly he went and within minutes the kids, the bikes, and he and Lyn were in the car headed to Overton park. While the kids rode their bikes he and Lyn talked about things and much to Randys amazement they shared a great many things in common. However, Lyns two boys were important to her and she was not going to sacrifice them for any short term relationship, even if it meant she would be happy. However, Randy grew to love the boys as if they were his own and his family also welcomed them with open arms, as well. Thus, this encounter that almost wasnt, began to be the first of many the two would share and with the boys included over the next year or so.The ProposalOne of the things that haunted Randy all his life was his very awkward and chaotic proposal to Lyn. One of the things they had in common is that they liked to go around looking at new houses. They had been dating for over a year and each time they looked at a house they envisioned what both of them would want to put in it and they almost always agreed. They hadn't even been talking about marriage but Randy had been thinking about it. In fact, the two had been looking at house plans and talking about how nice it would be to have a new house. One day while Lyn was driving over the railroad tracks on Granbury Rd in Fort Worth Randy was filled with the spirit and just blurted out since we had been looking at houses together for so long well we just better get married. Lyn almost wrecked the car and asked him what he was saying and he said yes let's do it. Im sure in Lyn's mind she was looking for something a little more romantic but it was effective never the less and she said yes. They broke the news to Will and Lenny and they were both excited as well. However, awkward this turned out to be it was good for Lyn because Randy tried to make up for it with every anniversary that followed. They took wonderful trips and on each occasion Randy tried to do something bigger and better that would ostracize him with the husbands of Lyns other co-workers but he secretly liked putting Lyn up on a pedestal. This was also where the tradition of the yellow rose started. Lyn loved yellow roses and thus each year Randy would give her one yellow rose on their anniversary for each year they were married. Even during her time of sickness this past February Lyn received 26 yellow roses right on cue. The WeddingThe couple was wed on February 12, 1982 in a church in Fort Worth. After the wedding they stayed at the DFW Airport Amfac Hotel for a night or so before flying to Puerto Rico for their honeymoon. However, this was during a time when Puerto was trying to become a state and had been denied due to political issues. As a result, being an American and traveling there was a less than stellar situation. Lyn and Randy could not get waited on and even some persons in the elevator were talking hateful things about Americans. So on the first night of their honeymoon trip Lyn laid awake all night in tears and Randy sat by the door guarding for what they both thought might be an intrusion and perhaps bodily harm. Randy tried to reach his travel agent but couldnt and he started looking through travel magazines and found one showing hotels in St. Thomas . He call Frenchmans Reef and was told there were no vacancies when the mgr said wait we had a couple cancel their honeymoon package and it was available but was not expected to last. Randy took it and they checked out moving to St Thomas where they had a wonderful time.TravelFrom this experience the two found they really liked to travel and had since taken trips to England, Scotland, Ireland, Mexico, St. Thomas, Puerto Rico , Canada , and numerous places all over the US . Because of Randys affiliation with several law enforcement associations the couple was always traveling to some type of program and as a result they went to many US cities. One of Lyns most favorite places was the Hotel Del Coronado which was located on Coronado Island just outside San Diego. She loved to take trips here and walk the pristine beech. From this vantage point in San Diego she could visit La Hoya and places in southern California . During her trips she also liked to visit specific churches like the Crystal Cathedral and Dr. Robert Schuler in Garden Grove CA, Saddleback and Dr. Rick Warrant in Forest CA, and 1st Baptist Church of Atlanta and Dr. Charles Stanley among some of the more notables. She loved Dr Stanley and when the couple was not out doing something on a Saturday night she could always be found watching him on her local TBN affiliate. She would watch earnestly, taking notes, and then later discuss how she could apply what she had learned to her everyday life.Lyn's LovesLong before Lyn ever experienced Cancer, she was a person who had her priorities correctly in line. They were faith, family, and friends and in that order specifically. She loved God and looked for ways to worship and glorify him in everything that she did. She loved singing in the Celebration Choir at Walnut Ridge and even during times of her most difficult struggles physically she would always try to attend. She belonged to the Faith Builders Sunday school class at Walnut Ridge as well as two other small bible study groups. She was also involved with as a number of other off site special Christian womens groups such as Mansfield Womens Connection, Prayer Connection, and Bible Study, all affiliates of Stonecroft Ministries, an International Womens Ministry based out of Kansas City, Missouri. So during her retirement years she filled up the available time she had looking for ways to praise and better under God. She continued doing this right up until she became ill this last time in February.She was devoted to her husband and her kids with a love that was so God enriched that it was unbelievable. She was a devoted wife of 26 years who uplifted her husband daily. She was a devoted mom who prayed for her kids feverishly and on a daily nonstop basis. She unconditionally loved Will, Lenny, and Christopher not because of what they did or how much money they made, but for the quality of their character. She was always there to be of help any way she could and she would put herself out there on the line time and again in spite of the personal cost to herself. She was also head over heels in love with Wills wife Michelle and their baby, her grandson Conner. Lyn so wanted to spoil him that it was unbelievable. She was very proud of Will and his new family.She was also a devoted friend to everyone, even those she had met for the first time. Randy told me how he was always getting into trouble out in public with her because of this trait. He said the two of them would be walking side by side and he would be carrying on an animated conversation only to see someone walking towards him with a strange stare and then they would walk away from him. He couldn't figure out why until he looked to his right and saw that Lyn was nowhere in sight. So the people thought he was just talking to himself and acting crazy so they avoided him. He would turn around and she would be 50-100 yards back talking to someone and many times it would be to someone she had just met. She truly never met a person she didnt like and had this innate quality that if she sensed someone needed encouragement or help she would just drop everything and initiate a conversation, regardless of whether she knew them or not. Christ gave her this boldness and she continued trying to carry this out even until near the end of her time.At the hospital even when things were taking a downturn for her, she tried to provide comfort and witness to those hurting around her. She tried doing this until she just couldnt do it physically or mentally anymore.Lyn's Passion for Helping People Find the Lord and for Being Encouraged During Difficult TimesWhen Lyn first found out she had Cancer in 1996 it was a difficult diagnosis to get her hands around. However, after a very brief bout with discouragement she told Randy that while she had Cancer it was an uninvited guest and that she wasn't going to be a victim to it. She and Randy agreed it was easy to profess that you believe and have faith when things were easy but the true test was when things were at their worst and your faith was put to the test. They had both found situations and people who professed to have faith only to crumble when adversity stuck. As a result, they wanted people to see that you could handle adversity with a strong and reverent faith.As a team, neither ever turned down an offer to speak before groups, at churches, on the radio, or one on one to others who were dealing with significant adversity. Lyns passion for sharing her journey in an up close and personal way was amazing. She allowed perfect strangers to get a glimpse of her personal life that few people would be willing to share. In all of this sharing, the message was simple. In the face of the most extreme adversity you can learn to be content. Modeled after Philippians 4:11-15, Lyn found that as Paul, if you place your hope in your situation, you will never have enough money, just the right job, perfect marriage, or yes, even everlasting health, however, if you place your hope and strength on the Lord, that was something that could be held onto even when things around you were crumbling.Lyn and Randy continued to share their life with others from 1996 through August of 2004. It was the summer of that year and the couple had just gotten back from a fantasy vacation to the west coast with their good friends and neighbors Jean and Brad Steiner and Carter and Jan Wilson. Lyn had been having problems with a muscle pull in her right leg and had been treated for that for some time and had even found it bothered her some on the trip.In August she found out that the muscle pull was actually her Breast Cancer that had metastasized to her bone. Because of the way they had things set up Randy received the news first and drove home to give it to Lyn. When the Cancer went to the Bone both knew that the disease would be fatal because it was not curable. Again, after a brief time of pity Lyn once again ratcheted it up again and said she didnt like it but if God were to continue to be glorified then we would have to work even harder than we had been doing.As he had done for 8 years previous to this, God continued to work in their lives. Lyn tells of how so many people were calling and asking for progress updates that it was getting difficult for Randy to keep up with. As a result, Randy asked Christopher to teach him how to put together a two page web site that people could go to and find out how Lyn was doing. Randy was so proud of what he had put together with Chris and went to show it to the Christian mens group he has lunch with each week. A number of men looked at it and commented how nice it was and then one getting ready to leave just told Randy, You're missing the message. He said this twice and got up and left.This You're missing a message statement would plague the two of them over the course of the next few weeks and they would discuss what each thought this meant. In response another page would be added to the web site and then another and then finally what God revealed to them was the message they were missing is that Lyns Cancer was not about her but all about him. They turned their focus away from self and on how God could use her Cancer and even in a greater manner.They co-founded Coping With Hope, a faith based non-profit Cancer Support organization dedicated to helping others better cope with Cancer. The web site copingwithhope.com that started as a fledging little site now routinely has between 2,000-4,000 pages of material viewed monthly and on some busier months as much as 6,000 pages of material viewed. Because of the way Lyn exposed her own situation and faith in Christ, other fellow believers were encouraged and those who were not faith based accepted Christ or were moved in that direction.Lyn had boldness for Christ like no other. She was never afraid to share the message or stir up the waters. For example, one of her favorite events was a local Cancer Run in a nearby community. The event which drew nearly 15,000 people annually was dedicated to raising money for a variety of things related to research and community support. She was especially fond of the annual picture they took where each of the survivors was dressed in pink and a group shot was taken of all of them on stage. This was a very emotional time and one in which she truly felt a bond with all the other women in attendance. However, she said that something was missing. Each year they would have educational booths about Cancer which were great but Lyn said she didnt recall that much was ever said about how faith played a role in addressing Cancer.As a result, she had Randy prepare an application for Coping With Hope to set up a booth at the event. Randy rolled his eyes because he figured he would get a definite no. Sure enough, the application caused some concerns and was temporarily delayed. While some of the board members were faith based, there was a concern that the type of booth Lyn wanted to set up might be thought of as an incorrect fit for the event. Lyn just wouldnt take no and as a result the application was sent all the way to the groups national headquarters where it was finally approved with some limited conditions. Lyn said emphatically that she would participate but would not water the message down under any circumstances.Lyn, Randy, Pat and Warren Benton, and Barbara Gormley and Karen Eager arrived on the day of the run and due to some unexpected situation they found their booth was to be set up on the main event lot opposite the stage. All day long Breast Cancer survivors came by the booth to receive faith based literature and to hear the message of how Christ can love you just the way you are and help you to handle adversity. It was simply an amazing experience but was so Lyn. She was not willing to let anything get in her way when it came to sharing the good news. Few of us would be so lucky to have a witness so BOLD. To send flowers or a memorial gift to the family of Evelyn Harper please visit our Sympathy Store.